It is but a sad truth that couples that enter a lifelong relationship encounter challenges that overwhelm them at times. Amidst the challenges, couples can leave each partner feeling hurt, frustrated, or unable to move forward. In some cases, when the friendship between couples is not given proper care and attention, it will create distance between them. Consequently, after the infatuation stage has withered and fantasy has been shattered, relationships go cold, according to therapist Zoe Hicks.
To avoid further rift in a relationship, it would be best to prevent the relationship from going cold. The examples below will give you some idea of how relationships can grow cold.
Neglect: One of the reasons why relationships go cold is neglect. When you stop spending enough time together or ignore each other’s friendship, then you will surely grow apart in your relationship. Being neglected normally happens when you are too immersed in something that you forget you have a life partner. In most cases, your partner may feel neglected when you focus more on friends and go out and spend more time with your better half.
Skirmishes: When you and your partner constantly fight, especially on small things, you will definitely find it hard to cultivate friendship. The build-up resentment can lead to more fights or, even worse, apathy. Fight in a relationship normally occurs when you go beyond your boundaries. Not leaving room for respect towards your partner can surely lead to minor arguments, which could, later on, grow into a full-blown fight.
A lack of compassion: Another reason your partner or your relationship is going cold is your unwillingness to understand the other person. Showing no compassion only leads your partner to be depressed, anxious, or even feel alone. The lack of compassion of a partner normally stems from being entitled and too much pride. These two components normally ruin a good relationship.
Differences: When couples have different perspectives in life, it will often lead to misunderstanding. Such differences will fuel the withdrawal of affection from each other, resulting in a relationship getting cold. The lack of tolerance for your partner’s perspective in life or poor management of these differences is often the culprit of couples growing apart from each other.
Mistrust: Losing your partner’s trust is seen as one of the main reasons why relationships grow apart and eventually fall. Trust is one of the key factors that binds couples together. When trust is broken, it is challenging for any relationship to function well. Understanding why relationships become cold is not enough. Couples should also rekindle their relationship and dwindling feelings for their partner. To give you an idea, here are some practical tips you can follow.
To avoid growing apart from each other, you should spend time with your partner. As a couple, you should make an actual appointment with each other. If you are already living together, try to put your devices away from you when you are together. Talk to each other or do something fun together.
One of the key ingredients for a lasting and warm relationship is communication. It would be best if you learn to communicate appropriately, especially during trying times. If you cannot communicate without raising your voice, you should pick a spot where your shouting would somehow be curtailed. And when listening, use body language to show that you are really interested in the discussion.
Surprise Your Partner
Another way to give life to your relationship is to learn to surprise your partner. Surprises may not always be in the form of material gifts. Try to be inventive and creative when giving your partner a present.
You may write a poem or a song for your partner. If you want to take it to another level, create a song recording. A vocal instructor can surely help you prepare for the recording.
Alternatively, any work of art to celebrate your relationship will also work. As the saying goes, “Art speaks where words are unable.”
All relationships are worth saving. If your relationship is getting cold and you observe that you are growing distant from each other, don’t wait for it to end. Step up and introduce some changes in your relationship.
Do things as a couple and not individually. If you have committed a grave mistake, apologize and vow never to commit such a grave mistake again. Be patient with your partner and always be honest with each other.
Always remember that it takes two willing individuals who are committed to making a relationship work.